I guess I've grown up a bit more today.
Realisation has hit me and I don't want to fight any more, I'm sick of it. It's tiring, very tiring. I've spent the last three years going against whatever's been said, and I'm not going to do so any more.

Rebel without a cause.
Sounds romantic? Far from it, trust me. It's screwed my life around the last three and a half years, and I refuse to let it do so any more. From not wanting you around, 'meddling' in my life, I've come to realise how much I need you, as much as I've tried to deny it. I've grown up a bit more today, it's time for me to stop, have a good long think about what I've done, then open up and let you into my life.

Sitting at that table listening today, I've realised that I want to do that, I want you to put your arms around me, hug me, hold me close to you and make me feel like I'm little again, way back when I was much smaller than you, when I was a little kid and nothing bad ever happened.

It's over and I apologise so, so much. No matter how many time's I say sorry, it won't be enough.